greediness kills!


Thoughts From The Throne -Vol 2 Issue 2

Dear Reader,

There have been many attempts, in years past, to categorize the different ways people, um... "muse", and the different types of, um... how do we say this... "musings" that we all doo-doo. Well, the attempts end here. Thanks to our team of undercover bathroom enthusiasts, Bathroom Musings proudly presents...


The Silky:

Freely flowing from its confines, the Silky drapes itself like ribbons in the bowl, a delicate and harmonious balance between liquid and solid.

The Pebblets:

Circular in shape, and heavy in weight, Pebblets tend to cluster at the base of the bowl, much like a rock slide at the base of a mountain.

The Floatee:

Floatees are similar in size and shape to its cousin, the Pebblet (see above), but the extra active ingredient found in them (known as Odious Malodious Gaseousness) causes them to gently bob near the surface of the water.

The Log-O:

Long and thick, and usually a loner, the Log-O's birth is usually accompanied by the rapturous sounds of grunting and straining, although many swear that they hear harps and violins after this one has come and gone.

The Gobstopper:

Hard to pass, this everlasting Gobstopper tends to be gigantic in mass and abnormal in shape, often having three, four, or even five heads attached to one body. Also known as the grand-daddy of all musings, many a man has been made or broken by this one.

The Liquid Hot Magma:

Hot spurts of this near liquid-like substance can cause severe burns to the nether region, and in one documented case, hairs in nearby areas were reportedly singed and smoking.

The Faker:

Loud, noisy, but just full of hot air.

We hope this was helpful to you, as you begin your journey of self exploration.

Fare thee well, dear readers, and until next time - I can, you can, we all think on the can.



Samantha Sham

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  1. Dear Samantha Sham,

    Will you be writing anymore Bathroom Musings? I really enjoyed reading them, but the last one was from 2003. I’m sure you’ve had other incidents since then.


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